We’ve all heard the horror stories of the dreaded Bridesmaids dresses.  The fear sets in the minute you hear those words, “Will you be a Bridesmaid?”

The fear of being dressed in a Canary Yellow Cream Puff Gown kicks in and you smile with trepidation, only to nod slowly as if to say yes.

I recently read a post on a very popular Wedding Forum, that a Bride to be was having some issues with regards to one of her bridesmaids not wanting to wear the outfit that she had chosen.  Which I’m sure is a common issue.  What I didn’t agree with, is that one of the Wedding Planners had said, “It’s your day, you tell them what to do!”

I have to personally disagree with this statement.  This kind of thinking breeds the “Bridezilla” way of thinking, and we’ve all established no one likes a bridezilla.

I feel this is also very important when dealing with the LGBT community.

So how do you deal with this?  It’s your wedding day, but one of your Wedding Party doesn’t want to wear the dress you picked out.  I personally feel that this is an issue, though not limited to, when a bride has an LGBT female in her mix of Bridesmaids.

Yes, it is your Wedding, but having an LGBT female (or even a heterosexual female) who is more masculine or sporty in their appearance and mannerisms may cause a few hiccups along the way when choosing what they are going to wear.

The first thing you need to realize is that the people you have asked to be a part of your special day, means that they are extremely important to you.  But it doesn’t make you their boss.

You have to understand, that a person like this has spent years of fighting, struggling, bouts of depression and fighting society to stake a claim in who they are as a person.  It’s a battle.  A long and hard battle, and just a simple google search will show you that not every LGBT youth makes it through this internal war.  So your friend, cousin, sister or co-worker that you have asked to be a part of this… they’ve survived.  And after all of those years of fighting, means that they have the right to be themselves and do so with pride.

Can you imagine Big Boo from Orange is the New Black wearing a strapless pink bodice with a flowing train skirt?

Or Ellen in a sequined halter dress?

Didn’t think so.

But, on the same note, this doesn’t give said individual the right to be stubborn and make the rules about what they are going to wear.  They need to know it’s your day too, and make some alterations.

It’s called compromise.  And when dealt with in a private and mutually respectful discussion, you can make alternatives and come to an arrangement.

Weddings in general are becoming less and less traditional, and as a former Wedding Planner myself, I must say, no one likes the matching bridesmaids dresses anymore.  Come up with whimsical alternatives and fun ideas that showcase your bridal party’s personalities, but keep it uniform by adding one colour that flows between them all.

The main goal here, is to think outside the box and come up with an alternative that everyone is happy with.

The happier your Bridesmaids are, the happier they will make you!

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